Post by the_gatekeeper on Jun 26, 2008 12:15:28 GMT -5
As I sit here at work, bored off my ass being the lowly intern that can only do the simplest of tasks, I have decided that I need to tell you all a story in true Harvey-esque rant form. Enjoy....
So as many of you know, I am trying to unload the Contour before either A) its value plummets even further down the shitter than it already has, losing $2,200 blue book value in the last year or B) fucking blows up engulfing my body in flames. Ok, so maybe that was a bit overdone, but jesus christ, it's like every day, something else is fucking broken on that money pit. But I digress...
About a month ago, I posted the car on craigslist in three cities, Lansing, Kalamazoo, and South Bend.
kalamazoo.craigslist.org/car/706454018.html
So far, I have received responses from about ten fake people saying that they are very interested in my item and that they have sent payment for my item and how my item is very cool and to ship it to iamafakespammingassholegivemeyouritemsville, Ukraine. I even got the ultimate ram in the ass, I have officially been phone spammed. I got an automated message that called me asking if I wanted help selling my "item". Yanno what craigslist item inquiring machines, fuck you too. However, I did speak with about 4 real people, which all turned out to be complete fucking retard douche bags. "Oh well, I'm interested but, I found another one in better condition for about the same price." Go fucking buy it then asshole and stop wasting my time, I could be talking to the next lame-ass deadbeat fuckhead that won't buy my car instead of you with the time you are using. Then some guy called, was all set up to come meet with me, then the day of the meting called and said, "sorry but, we bought a car yesterday." Fuck you, nuff said.
And now the kicker, the trigger to this epic bitch fest....
I checked my email two nights ago and had this in my inbox
Unprofessional to say the least, I just assumed that it was another dickhole sending me a link to something wanting my information to send me a fake cashiers check. But I bit anyway, I figured I would check the listing and see how it looked. Open it and see for yourself. First thing to catch my attention was the spelling of the vehicle in question, "Duranog." What??? Whatever, I said to myself, just a slip of the key right? I proceeded to call the phone number listed, and verify that the owner of this "Duranog" was indeed the same person that emailed me about the SVT. I also noted that, throughout the entire listing, there are two capital letters, R/T, not important ones like at the beginning of sentences or anything. Then there was the whole "I would rather you call than email" comment. I guess I should have put this all together sooner, but I figured, hey what the hell, I'm dealing with someone mildly more intelligent than a triple whopper at burger king, he has to be enough of a sucker to take the Contour.
Several phone calls later, and trying to find a place between our respective locations to meet, which by the way, is a 136 mile difference (Romeo, MI), I decided that I would rather start this truck cold and see how it acted, rather than have it driven 70 miles and be surprised later. I called him during my lunch yesterday, set up a meeting time of 6pm, and said don't start it. I called him back several minutes later to get the VIN, as I wanted to run it through the rating system here at the agency to find out what kind of rates I would be looking at to insure it. Or at least that's what I told him, what I really did was run the carfax. Looked pretty legit, other that one small detail. The previous owner sold the truck on June 3rd. Of 2008. Yeah, three weeks this guy has owned this truck. Yet another warning sign that I blatantly disregarded.
I proceeded to get out of work early and begin my two hour trek to Romeo. Kristy accompanied me as co-pilot and we enjoyed looking at even more shit-hole Michigan that I never cared to see. We arrived in Romeo, and were back on the road 4 minutes later, driving two hours back to Olivet. Why, you may ask? First off, I get to the address and I see him, he is the epitome of jock retard, he's about 19 years old, and living at his parents house. The first thing he says to me is, "what happened to those?" pointing at my broken ground effects. I said, "I told you over the phone about the damage to the car." Anyway, he walked around the car several times, obviously knowing absolutely jack shit. He touched the power antenna and asked if it worked, if that gives you any idea what I was dealing with. After another minute or so, he says, "well I dunno, it's pretty rough, there's a couple more I'm looking at, I'll have to get back to you on it." WAIT A MINUTE, BACK THE FUCK UP. I thought you wanted to trade today assfuck. So I said, "well, can I look at your truck since I drove 150 miles to see it?" We proceed to go into the garage and look over it. By this point, I didn't ever care, I only looked at cosmetics and interior, nothing mechanical. So I started quizzing him.
"What history do you have on the truck, problems, where it's from, etc.?"
"Uhhhhhhhhhh, I dunno, but there's nothing wrong with it."
"Have the ball joints been replaced, since I know they came defective on these trucks?"
"Uhhhhhhhhhh, I dunno."
"What about the transmission rebuild?"
"Uhhhhhhhhhh, yeah it was rebuilt at 108,000 miles."
(I got you fucker, the carfax said 102,000)
Here's the good one...
"So, how long have you owned the truck?"
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (note the extra-long ape-like uhhhhhhhhh), about 6 months"
BOOMSHACKALACKA BITCH, I KNOW IT'S 22 DAYS!!!!!!
This worthless trip ended in, "well call me if you don't find another to trade," and me tearing out of there like the flag just dropped at Le Mans. I sent him an email last night (his address is sethjeezy@yahoo.com, what a twat [check out his myspace, nice robe fag profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=26570045 ]). I said that after my 4 hours and 300 miles, I would still consider his original offer of the Duranog and $500 if he couldn't find an SVT in better shape to trade for, which I told him wouldn't happen because no one is going to trade a sport compact in good condition for something getting half the fuel economy.
Good luck bitch.
That does feel good Harv....
So as many of you know, I am trying to unload the Contour before either A) its value plummets even further down the shitter than it already has, losing $2,200 blue book value in the last year or B) fucking blows up engulfing my body in flames. Ok, so maybe that was a bit overdone, but jesus christ, it's like every day, something else is fucking broken on that money pit. But I digress...
About a month ago, I posted the car on craigslist in three cities, Lansing, Kalamazoo, and South Bend.
kalamazoo.craigslist.org/car/706454018.html
So far, I have received responses from about ten fake people saying that they are very interested in my item and that they have sent payment for my item and how my item is very cool and to ship it to iamafakespammingassholegivemeyouritemsville, Ukraine. I even got the ultimate ram in the ass, I have officially been phone spammed. I got an automated message that called me asking if I wanted help selling my "item". Yanno what craigslist item inquiring machines, fuck you too. However, I did speak with about 4 real people, which all turned out to be complete fucking retard douche bags. "Oh well, I'm interested but, I found another one in better condition for about the same price." Go fucking buy it then asshole and stop wasting my time, I could be talking to the next lame-ass deadbeat fuckhead that won't buy my car instead of you with the time you are using. Then some guy called, was all set up to come meet with me, then the day of the meting called and said, "sorry but, we bought a car yesterday." Fuck you, nuff said.
And now the kicker, the trigger to this epic bitch fest....
I checked my email two nights ago and had this in my inbox
detroit.craigslist.org/car/706533865.html trade you this and $500
Unprofessional to say the least, I just assumed that it was another dickhole sending me a link to something wanting my information to send me a fake cashiers check. But I bit anyway, I figured I would check the listing and see how it looked. Open it and see for yourself. First thing to catch my attention was the spelling of the vehicle in question, "Duranog." What??? Whatever, I said to myself, just a slip of the key right? I proceeded to call the phone number listed, and verify that the owner of this "Duranog" was indeed the same person that emailed me about the SVT. I also noted that, throughout the entire listing, there are two capital letters, R/T, not important ones like at the beginning of sentences or anything. Then there was the whole "I would rather you call than email" comment. I guess I should have put this all together sooner, but I figured, hey what the hell, I'm dealing with someone mildly more intelligent than a triple whopper at burger king, he has to be enough of a sucker to take the Contour.
Several phone calls later, and trying to find a place between our respective locations to meet, which by the way, is a 136 mile difference (Romeo, MI), I decided that I would rather start this truck cold and see how it acted, rather than have it driven 70 miles and be surprised later. I called him during my lunch yesterday, set up a meeting time of 6pm, and said don't start it. I called him back several minutes later to get the VIN, as I wanted to run it through the rating system here at the agency to find out what kind of rates I would be looking at to insure it. Or at least that's what I told him, what I really did was run the carfax. Looked pretty legit, other that one small detail. The previous owner sold the truck on June 3rd. Of 2008. Yeah, three weeks this guy has owned this truck. Yet another warning sign that I blatantly disregarded.
I proceeded to get out of work early and begin my two hour trek to Romeo. Kristy accompanied me as co-pilot and we enjoyed looking at even more shit-hole Michigan that I never cared to see. We arrived in Romeo, and were back on the road 4 minutes later, driving two hours back to Olivet. Why, you may ask? First off, I get to the address and I see him, he is the epitome of jock retard, he's about 19 years old, and living at his parents house. The first thing he says to me is, "what happened to those?" pointing at my broken ground effects. I said, "I told you over the phone about the damage to the car." Anyway, he walked around the car several times, obviously knowing absolutely jack shit. He touched the power antenna and asked if it worked, if that gives you any idea what I was dealing with. After another minute or so, he says, "well I dunno, it's pretty rough, there's a couple more I'm looking at, I'll have to get back to you on it." WAIT A MINUTE, BACK THE FUCK UP. I thought you wanted to trade today assfuck. So I said, "well, can I look at your truck since I drove 150 miles to see it?" We proceed to go into the garage and look over it. By this point, I didn't ever care, I only looked at cosmetics and interior, nothing mechanical. So I started quizzing him.
"What history do you have on the truck, problems, where it's from, etc.?"
"Uhhhhhhhhhh, I dunno, but there's nothing wrong with it."
"Have the ball joints been replaced, since I know they came defective on these trucks?"
"Uhhhhhhhhhh, I dunno."
"What about the transmission rebuild?"
"Uhhhhhhhhhh, yeah it was rebuilt at 108,000 miles."
(I got you fucker, the carfax said 102,000)
Here's the good one...
"So, how long have you owned the truck?"
"Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh (note the extra-long ape-like uhhhhhhhhh), about 6 months"
BOOMSHACKALACKA BITCH, I KNOW IT'S 22 DAYS!!!!!!
This worthless trip ended in, "well call me if you don't find another to trade," and me tearing out of there like the flag just dropped at Le Mans. I sent him an email last night (his address is sethjeezy@yahoo.com, what a twat [check out his myspace, nice robe fag profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=26570045 ]). I said that after my 4 hours and 300 miles, I would still consider his original offer of the Duranog and $500 if he couldn't find an SVT in better shape to trade for, which I told him wouldn't happen because no one is going to trade a sport compact in good condition for something getting half the fuel economy.
Good luck bitch.
That does feel good Harv....
....fuck....so now I got a Heli Coil and i'm going to try and fix this biatch....bah!
yay!
haha....